When we got home from the hospital on friday Jacob started complaining of a headache. It was more of a "mom my head hurts" and then I would say something like ok go lay down and off he would go and play and act normal. So I didnt think anything of it. And then Tuesday night him and Tyler were laying down in the front room watching tv and I hear him scream and start to cry. I look over and his head is on the ground. So I tell him to walk to me. He did and I asked him what was wrong. he told me that his head hurt so bad. Tom and I thought he was getting a migraine so I told him to go lay down in bed. He went right to bed and layed there for about an hour. Then he was fine after that. An hour later I noticed Tyler was already asleep on the couch and Jacob was on the chair with a blanket covering his body and the pillow over his head. I figure he got another migraine and he was trying to keep the light and sound away. So we woke him up and when we did I asked him if his head still hurt. It did so I gave him some tylenol. He went to bed and didnt wake up all night. In the morning I asked him if his head hurt and he said it did. But then he said "I cant go to school...but I can go to scouts." So I figured he was faking and I sent him off to school. About 9 am I get a phone call from the lady in the front office and she said that Mrs Bergman said that he started to get a headache and he just was not acting like himself. He started to get really pale so she was going to take him across the hall to lay down on the couch. When she was walking him over there he passed out in her arms. So they had to call the fire department to come look him over. I arrived after the fire dept was there and so they were already doing their checks on him and trying to get him to be responsive. Jacob's blood pressure was very low so they had to check his blood pressure standing up. When they had him stand up he passed out again. So they decided that they needed to call the ambulance to take him to the hospital.

So off we went to PCH again. The first doc came in and checked him over. It was just a resident doctor. I have never had good luck with those. Usually they have no idea what they are talking about and is always completely wrong with what they say! He said that since they reported that there was some tenderness in his tummy he would check it out himself. Jacob started laughing and the doc was like oh hes ticklish. I had to tell him no...that's how he says it hurts. Since Jacob doesn't feel pain like we do its hard for him to know whats pain and whats not. And ive seen that when Jacob laughs like that it usually means its painful. Because of our recent history of just being admitted he wanted to get an xray done of his belly and just see whats going on in there. So we went to xray and a few min after we were done he came back and said that from the looks of the xray he has MORE poop in his system than his first xray showed BEFORE we did the clean out. I was actually mad because I had thought they released us without having him all cleaned out. And if they did that, then they were going to have momma bear attack! But he said that he looked at the xray that they took when we left and it showed there was nothing but air in his system. So from Friday until Wednesday some how it all came back! Now im not a doc but that just doesn't seem right. So he wanted to give Jacob an enema but I said NO! He wont tolerate that and if there is poop still in his system he needs to get it out again. So I told him to please call GI and talk to them. So he called and talked to another doc in the practice and they said to admit him. But they have no beds. SO they sent us home and said they would call us when a bed is available. Last time they did this they called us within a few hours. But so far we have waited over 12 hours so far and nothing yet. So hopefully they will call us soon! I assume they are going to have to do another clean out with him. But not only do we need to get that taken care of but now his headaches and what caused him to pass out. And then we have to figure out how and why so much poop came back so fast. I actually got a call from the GI last night around 5 as we were driving home from the ER and they said that we never saw a nutritionist when we were there last time and they were upset over that. We need to see one before we leave the hospital this time. The nurses should of made sure we saw one but they told me that it was not in the hospital orders...when it clearly was. So this time we will also see one of those. Hopefully this hospital visit wont be longer than the last. I was about to claw my way out of there by the 2nd day!

In July we decided to go see a GI doctor. Jacob had always had some stomach aches and we just wanted to figure out what they were from. We thought it was from an allergy but we went to the allergist and all their tests came back fine. So next step was the GI. They asked his history and after feeling around his stomach they told me its just constipation. So they gave us an order to up his fiber intake to 16 g a day and he should be fine. So we did that and nothing happened. So they told us just in case lets do some work. They sent us for a xray and some blood work. I guess I forgot to send them my new phone number when we moved because when the tests were done they were trying to call me but could never get a hold of me. So they called Tom at work and Tom gave them my new number. So they called me and said there is a significant amount of poop in his colon and he needs to do a clean out. So for 4 days give him 2 caps full of miralax 3 times a day and 2 chocolate xlax bars 2 times a day. So we got all prepared for this massive clean out and started it on a Thursday. That day...nothing happened. No poop...nothing. The 2nd day he only went 2 times. The 3rd day he went 3 times and the 4th day he went once. So I called them after the weekend and told them what had happened and that I didn't think it worked. They told me to try it again the next weekend. So I did. This time, the whole weekend, he only went 3 times! I had an appt with the doc on that Monday. When we talked to him I told him what had happened and he said well this obviously is not working. He started to write something down and then said to me "Go take this paper next door. Get an xray right now. If it shows poop still in there then we will have to admit Jacob and do a clean out in the hospital." So right away we went and took it over there and got the xray. The next day I got a phone call that said there was more poop in there than before and that the hospital would call me with a time to come in to do the clean out. A few hours later we were in the hospital!

When we got to the hospital there was a lot of waiting around. We got to the actual hospital at about 445 and finally got to our room at about 6. Well at 7 is when the nurses do their shift changes so no nurses really wanted to get started on anything because it was about time for them to go home. Then the night nurses came on board and they had to finish with all their patients first before they came to get us started. So finally at about 8pm they get to us. They tell us whats going to be happening with him and what they are going to do. About 845 they came back and took him away. What they did is they put in a feeding tube that goes from his nose all the way to his stomach. And then they put in an IV. I actually had to convince them to put in the IV because I didn't want him to get dehydrated. They gave him some relaxers to relax him and so that he wouldn't flip out when they put in the feeding tube. But he just started crying and wouldn't stop. Finally I convinced him to stop crying at about 10 pm because he wanted to go for a walk. I told him that there were too many sleeping kids and he had to be quiet because he would wake them all up. We actually had a roommate too. And I was worried he was going to wake up the other kid. They started his meds also. So it was pumping into him a stronger version of miralax. He couldn't swallow or close his mouth with the feeding tube in. It was so sad to see him like that.

We finally went to bed at midnight only to be woken up at 4 am by Jacob throwing up. I figured it was just because he was not used to the tube and it probably gagged him or something. Well then he threw up again...and again...and again...until 6 am. They gave him some zofran and then decreased the amount of meds being pumped into him and that was the end of his throwing up.

The next day (Thursday) we said good bye to our roommate...who's name was also Jacob. And we were roommate free the rest of our stay there. That day was also full of lots of pooping and diaper changes and stomach cramps and LOTS of tv and disney movies. My wonderful friend Erin came and brought Jacob some fun toys to play with and that kept him entertained.

Friday came and was all the same as Thursday. Lots of bed changes and diaper changes. However this time the poop started to become less and less. They told us we could go if his poop was clear...which meant there was no "rocks" or specs it was just basically pooping out the meds that they were giving us. Finally about noon he started doing that. They told us he had to have 3 poops that were clear. We did that around 2pm and then they took him at about 3pm to get an xray. If it came back that there was nothing in his system we could go! So at 4 we were released to go because everything had come back fine.

It was such a scary experience for him...and me. I do not enjoy seeing my kid in the hospital that's for sure. But we have a great support system and I am so thankful for everyone who prayed for us and who called and visited.

So im about to tell a story about what happened like our first month in our house. The only reason im blogging about this is so that I remember it. Just because it was a lot of madness.

So we were getting ready to send Tom off to scouts and I was getting the boys ready for bed. I heard a sound of a helicopter that was pretty loud and it sounded like it was close. So as Tom was leaving to scouts I decided to go outside and look and see what was going on. I saw the police helicopter and it was flying over our neighborhood. So I decided to call Jackie and see if she knew of anything since she lives a few neighborhoods over. She told me...oh its probably just the police nothing big. And so I took it as that and went on with our night. A little bit longer I hear MORE helicopters. So I go outside and look around and I see 6!! They are news helicopters. So I knew something had to be going on. I turned on the tv to see if there was any news about it and there was. It happened to be a drug bust gone wrong in the neighborhood next to me. And an undercover cop got shot!! So I decided to turn on my police scanner. I think that was the worst thing to do because I knew EVERYTHING that was going on there. So I went outside to see what I could see and I hear from up in the sky "GO BACK INSIDE...IT IS VERY DANGEROUS" So I go back inside and call my mom freaking out. I kept telling her...I dont know what I got myself into moving here. I had no husband and there was some shooting going on!!! So then a little bit later there is a knock and I Hear...ITS THE POLICE. So I go and answer the door and there are 5 police officers with their big guns drawn and they had to go search my house. From what I understand the suspect was running on MY STREET and they had to check all the houses. Once they saw that I was not hiding the suspect they left. But only to return a half hour later just to check up on me because they saw how scared I was. While all of this was happening Tom was at scouts and I had no way to get a hold of him. He told me that after scouts he went to go home and they had the whole area blocked off and no one could get into their houses. So he had to wait at QT until 1:30 in the morning. It was a scary night and I hope to never experience that again.

Jacob just had his 8th birthday a few weeks ago. I know I am SO behind on my posting here. So I thought I would post a few memories from the day.

It was a special day for him. Not only did we have all of our arizona family there but Stacy and her kids all came from Texas. So I knew that I had to have a good party for him. It was a lot of fun. I decided that the party theme was going to be "rainbows." A lot of my family members thought that it was not a good theme. But they were thinking of what rainbows represent. And well I was just thinking of the colors of the rainbow. My silly family!! But it was such a fun party and theme. Jackie helped me with a few ideas and getting things started and I just took off from there. I had a lot of fun getting things ready for the party and all the crafts I had to do. When the party was getting close to being done we looked outside and it started to rain!! And what do you know, a rainbow showed up. I thought it was a perfect way to end the party. Here are a few pictures of the day.



These are the cupcakes that I made for the party.




This is the cupcake holder



The food setup



Some of the partiers! Yeah it looks like a happenin party,doesnt it??



Kids playing in the rain

Overall it was a great day. And I hope Jacob remembers it forever!! I know he will.

I have been having some not so good feelings lately and I thought that if I just wrote them down I would feel better…so here I go!

I am having such a hard time moving. Not sure why its been so hard on me. Well it could be the fact that I had to take Jacob away from the people that mean the most to him. Every time I think about it I start to cry. Every time we see his friends or teachers…I start to cry. It's been harder on me than it has him I think. I had no idea that there was so much love in his little body for these special friends. And the fact that they feel the same way is amazing. I am just glad that they are still able to see each other and play with each other.

Or the fact that I'm just so tired all the time. Having the kid's home all day has been really tiring on me. I don't ever get a break from them. I feel like I never have a time to recharge my batteries. So being tired makes me grumpy…and I'm just not nice to be around anymore. I did get to have a little break last Friday and it was amazing!! I am so glad that I got to get out and have a good time. Glad to of been able to make some new friends. That's another thing on my list. I don't really have any friends out here. Most of all the friends I had before I moved now act as if I don't exist anymore. It's like I moved too far away to be their friend. I don't get why people don't think that we can still hang out it just takes me a little bit longer to get there haha. I know that I will make friends out here…it just takes time.

Ok so I think I feel a little bit better. I just need to sleep…at a decent time. I just need to get out and do something fun to get my mind back to where it was before. No more poor me posts…I promise!! Haha

Mother’s Day

So Mother's Day has come and gone. To me, it was a day of reflection. It was a day of thinking back to the memories and focusing on the wonderful mothers that have been in my life.

My mom has been a great inspiration to me. I love my mom more than anything. She has been there for me in times of trial, the good times, and when I didn't think I needed her. I know that if I have a problem, my mom can always help me with that. She's the first person I call when I need advice on something. She is the best Grandma my kids could ask for. She is so much fun and the kids just beg to go see her. I am glad that they had that good influence in their lives.

Then there are my Grandmas. Last night my mom asked us to think of a good memory about our Grandmas. We never got to share them so I thought I would on here.

Grandma Malone was certainly a fun one. She loved to play cards and at every family event there was always a game of cards going on. One memory of her that stands out was one time I went to their house in Tucson for the weekend. It was just me and there was no one else in my family with me. Well I had forgotten my swim suit back at home. So she said we had to go get a swim suit for me. We went to this weird store. I remember it was a weird souvenir shop or something. But we found a swim suit and when Grandma went to pay for it she gave them 100.00 bill. And the lady that she gave it to started freakin out. She was not sure what to do with a hundred dollar bill. I just remember thinking it was funny they were making such a big deal about it like it was the first time they had ever seen one.

Grandma Johnson was an amazing woman! She was so full of information and I just loved to hear stories of her mission and when she was young. There are lots of good memories with Grandma Johnson because growing up I lived on the same street as her. So I would go over there quite a bit. I loved her homemade bread. I remember she had this tape with a bunch of songs about the constitution and stuff like that. I would listen to that all the time and I still remember most of those songs to this day. I loved going to Lakeside and staying at Grandmas cabin. When the cousins all came it was so much fun!! A lot of my memories with cousins were all at Grandmas cabin in Lakeside.

Then there are the special mothers that I have met in this autism journey. They are so incredible!! They have so much wisdom and I can find out anything I need just by asking a few of these moms.

Around 1 am on Sunday morning I got up in a panic because I thought that my garage door was unlocked. So I went to check to make sure it was locked and I passed the kids room. And I had to stop and peek in to make sure they were all ok. Tyler was sleeping sideways on his bed and Jacob had kicked off all of his blankets and was curled up in a ball. I fixed Tyler to where he was back to sleeping on his pillow and I put the blankets back on Jacob. And I started to think about being a mom, and how lucky I am to be a mom to the kids that I have. I know that there are times I am done being a mom but I think that we all have those moments. Even the best moms I'm sure have thought that at times. I am lucky to have 2 great kids that love me unconditionally. Tyler tells me all the time that I am the bestest mom and that he loves me so much. That makes me feel like I'm doing something right to these boys. And when they grow up I want them to always remember that they have a mom that loves them so much.

House Party My Party

House Party My Party

An update

I am going to update since the last time I updated the blog.

I eventually got Tyler evaluated for the preschool. And well, he passed! So he got to be in the same class as his cousin Caleb. It has been so much fun for the both of them. They are such good little friends. They play together every day at school and it has been good for them both, socially. Well what we got also when he got evaluated was another autism diagnosis. Yep! That makes 2 kids with autism for me. Although Tyler does not have it like Jacob does, but he still has it. We did not qualify for services, like Jacob gets through the state, but that's ok. I know enough to work with Tyler on the things that he needs help learning. Tyler got the diagnosis because of his social/emotional problems. But since starting preschool his social skills are getting so much better! He also has a few fine motor issues that need to be addressed through an occupational therapist that he sees at school along with the speech therapist. His speech is getting a little better, but I see him having to continue that through next year. I can't believe that he officially starts kindergarten next year!!! I will have BOTH boys in school and have lots of free time for mom! I am not sure what I'm going to do with myself. People ask if I will have more kids and I think after having all this time to myself I would be crazy to have another baby right now. Although I do feel like there is another child that needs to come to our family through adoption. I have felt this way for a very long time. But there is no way we can afford that right now. So I guess we will know when that time comes.

Jacob got his tonsils out June 26^th. I was really nervous about it and I had no one to go with me to keep me company. So Sharon said that she would come with us since she had that day off. I am so glad she did. What an awesome friend she is, right?!?! Well we ended up playing a fun card game to take my mind off of him being in surgery. And it went a whole lot faster than I thought it was going to go. And he was a rock star! He did awesome. He had a little bit of trouble coming out of the sleepy meds but he normally does. When we got him home he was a little calm and stayed down pretty much the rest of the day. But after that it was all over with. He wanted to eat but he couldn't. I didn't know this but he snuck a piece of pizza that next day and ate it! He never wanted any of the soft foods that he was supposed to eat. But it healed perfect and it actually healed pretty fast. So we were pretty happy with that.

On the Jacob note…he had another little procedure done a few weeks ago. A few Sundays ago he came to me and said look at this mommy. And he showed me his toe where he had this big black mark on it. At first I thought he drew on his toe with a marker or something so I tried wiping it off. But I felt that it was raised and it looked like it was something stuck in his skin. So off we went to the phx childrens hospital urgent care. And when we got to see the doctor he kind of ripped into me for bringing him. There were lots of other sick kids waiting but I felt that Jacob needed to be seen. So the doc assured me that it was only a marker mark and that I should of just taken him to the pediatrician in the morning. When I told him NO it's not just a marker its raised. He was pretty concerned. He even had all the other doctors come in and take a look at it. No one could figure out what it was. He then told me that we needed to get in to see the dermatologist ASAP the next day. He was worried that it could be melanoma. So the next day comes and we get right in to see the doc later that afternoon. And he comes in with 6 other doctors. And they all take a look at it trying to figure out what it was. They also thought that it was melanoma of some sort. So the doc took a biopsy of it. He ended up taking off the whole thing and sending it in to get looked at. 2 days later I get a phone call from the doctor and he said that it was only a blood blister haha. He sure did scare us! It was really weird that that's all it was because it sure did not look like a blood blister.

Trying something new!

In my quest to better myself I decided that I needed to take up blogging again. It usually helps me lift some stress off of my shoulders to kind of just let things go. So hopefully I will be better at this blogging thing. I know not very many people read this blog and that's totally fine with me. But as I found out a month or so ago, it's so much fun to go back and see what I blogged about and remember some good and not so good memories. If I never blogged I would of totally forgot about Jacobs autism "anniversary" because I had totally forgotten the date. But I blogged about it and the date and everything and now I will always remember that its on February 2^nd. Or the feelings I felt when Tyler was going through a bunch of genetic testing. It brought back some sad memories of those times but I'm glad that I had those feelings written down to look back on.

But I found an easier way to blog and hopefully this will help me want to blog more. A WONDERFUL lady from my ward gave me a copy of the office software and on the Microsoft word it has where you can type a blog post into a document and it will automatically import it right to the blogger website. I thought this was awesome and probably a whole lot easier for me to type them out and get the published.