Well...tomorrow morning we are leaving for a week. I am going camping with my parents, my brother mike-his wife and daughter, my sister in law's sister, a girl from my ward (that the sister is friends with) and another family from our ward. This was supposed to be our big family trip this year but most everyone couldnt make it =( so we had to invite other people to come with us. Tom isnt going to be with us because he had scout camp this week and he comes home saturday and we are leaving friday. Plus he couldnt take another week off work to go. So im going to brave this with my boys alone!!! Pray for me that I will come back sane! I am already going crazy this week without tom being here. Its been a bad week for us...and I cant wait until tom is back here with us.

Autistic kids have a tendancy to wander. Jacob is huge in that. He will leave the house and I wont even know and he would be down the street, or at the park, and I would have no idea. If we go to the mall and hes not in the stroller he will just wander off. Well yesterday we went to walmart and usually Jake rides in the cart but he screamed and screamed until I took him out. I didnt want to make a scene so I just let him out of the cart. I turned to get something off a shelf and Jacob was gone!!! We spent 10 min looking for him and couldnt find him anywhere. We even had 2 employees looking for him. Finally one of the employees found him. And then we left right then and I went to put the groceries in the cart and I turn around and Jacob is gone again! I was so freaked out and frustrated at all of this. But today has been a better day and I have so much to do, but am I doing any of it? NOPE!! I am looking at blogs and *thinking* of the things I have to do tonight haha.

Hope everyone has a fun and safe 4th of July!!!

My sister posted this on her blog and tagged everyone so im going to do the same.

1. When was the last time you ran? Just a few min ago I ran to get Jake from being outside

2. Do your jeans have rips, tears and holes in them? No, I cant stand holes in my jeans

3. Do you get the full 8 hours of sleep a night? No I have bad insomnia

4. If you had someone "stop by" without you knowing what would your house look like? is actually pretty clean right now but usually a mess

5. Do you eat raw cookie dough? yep!

6. Have you ever kicked a vending machine? YES!! I actually did it today when my water was stuck

7.How do you eat an Oreo? dipped in milk

8. Have you ever stayed online for a very long time waiting for someone? not that I can remember but im sure I have

9. Could you live without a computer? I could but I really dont want to. I love my computer

10. Do you wear shoes in the house? haha no, I never wear shoes period

11. At what age did you find out Santa wasn't real? Who knows

12. How many phones, house and cell phones are in your house? 2

13. Who would you call first if you won the lottery? im with Shelly on this answer...I dont think I would want to admit that I actually played the lottery

14. Last time you saw your best friend? lol well I guess Tom is my only best friend so that would have to be 2 days ago =( Hes on a scout campout for a week

15. What jewelry are you wearing right now? both of my wedding rings

16. What is the first thing you do when you get on-line? check my email and then check blogs

17. Do you watch 'Grey's Anatomy'? Nope

18. How do most people spell your name? Brittany

19. When was the last time you left your house? about 8 am this morning went to walmart

20. Do you return your shopping cart? neever...unless im right next to it.

21. What noise do you hear right now? Tyler crying because Jake is trying to play mommy and put him to bed...haha

22. Who is the youngest in your family? I am

23. Who does the dishes at your house? I do most of it and Jacob puts away the silverware

24. If all of your friends were going on a road trip, who would be most likely to over pack? And, who would most likely be driving? I would definintly overpack and Tom would do the driving...

25.Do your siblings ever pay for stuff for you? sometimes

26. Do you know anyone with the same name as you? sure, Britney Spears

7. When was the last time you cleaned your toilets? yesterday

28. Do you watch movies with your parents? I havent in a long time

29. Do you get your hair cut every month? hahaha im lucky if I get it cut once a year

30. What was the last thing you purchased? groceries

You know the drill, copy, paste, fill it out.

I am at the end of my rope with Jacob I am not sure if this is an autism thing, ADHD thing, or just because hes a *bad* kid. But his behaviors have become VERY severe and VERY bad! I am no sure what to do with him and his behaviors anymore. We cant punish him because he just doesnt care. I try taking toys away and that doesnt bother him. He doesnt play with toys or anything else so taking something away doesnt work. When he is in time out he will come right back out...ive tried everything to make time out work and it doesnt work. Ive tried yelling and spaking and he just laughed at me. Ive tried the loving approach and that didnt work either, it just made him do more. We have him on meds for ADHD and ever since we put him on those its like these behaviors have become way worse.

Its 7 am and ill tell you what he has already done in the hour we have been awake. He took a blanket and tried to choke his brother, he was throwing a shoe at the wall and every time I told him to stop he would keep doing it, he turned on the water outside and threw his brother in it, he got markers and colored himself and his shirt. I am not sure what to do anymore and I hate feeling like he has defeted me. Like I am nothing to him because he just wont listen to me...or his dad.

I know there are a few people who read this so I thought I would post on here. I am doing an online tupperware party through one of my friends. I know you guys are probably thinking, what is she doing?!??!?!?! But I really like doing these kinds of things. So if you have any interest in any tupperware stuff, check out the website and see if there is anything you would like to buy. I would appriciate anything that you can buy!! This is going for 14 days so there is still a little bit of time left. If you know someone who would be insteresting in buying just send me their email and ill send them a link to go shopping. This is all online so when you buy stuff it will go right to you. Thanks for your help everyone!!!

Here is the link http://order.tupperware.com/coe/app/home

We are in my parents ward. I love being in this ward and being able to sit with my mom every week in church is a lot of fun. My brother Mike and his wife are also in our ward. My dad is 1st Councilor and so I kinda told him the callings I want and didn't want when we first moved in. He knows pretty much what I like and what I don't like. Well one of those callings I said I would never do, is be in the nursery. The 2 hours I get without kids on Sundays are great!! I love being able to have time without my own kids...or any other little kids. I really don't mind if I get called into the primary, but not the nursery. My dad is over the whole primary and so a few weeks ago I was at their house on a Saturday night. The primary Pres called and said they will be 2 teachers short tomorrow for church. SO he asked if I would help out because I was there and he knows I would say yes. So the next day, we all woke up SICK!!! So, I couldn't go in and help. Well the next Sunday they still needed help and so I went in since I told him I would go last week and didn't go to church. It was a mess!!! There were now 4 teachers gone! NO one knew where they were and why no one called. We have 3 nursery's and 2 teachers at each class plus one singing girl. We had 14 kids in our class and 2 teachers. It was nuts and I came home so stressed out because I was just going crazy the whole time. Then something very tragic happened earlier this week. The lady who is over the whole nursery gave birth to a still baby =( it is one of the saddest things and so of course now she will be gone for a while. They just had to release a couple who was working in the nursery because they moved suddenly. So once again, I am back to helping out. My dad asked me if I would help out for at least another month until they can get some more people in. Well I told him, I hope this isn't a perm thing because I really don't like being in there. He kinda looked at me like...oh no!! So, I was pretty sure they were going to call me in there. But I feel so bad that I really don't want to be in the nursery. I just don't have enough patience to deal with that AND my own kids!!!

Tomorrow morning we are having this lady come from the Department of Developmental Disabilities (DDD) to meet Jacob and I. She is our new support coordinator and so she just wants to come over and talk for a bit and get to know us and let us know what all we qualify for and stuff. I already know that we don't qualify for anything because DDD has little funding and its basically already being used up. So we have to go and aply for Arizona Long Term Care Services(ALTCS) and that has a lot more funding and thats how we can get our therapies and meds covered. We did apply for it once , and got denied. They didn't even come to our house and meet us and evaluate him. They just sent a letter saying that we did not qualify. Our new SC said that we need to appeal that and get another application in. So that's what we are doing now!! I hope that they approve us because Jacob really needs these therapies. Its 1041 and he just fell asleep about 10 min ago and had been screaming for the past 3 hours. Not sure why...but he does this at least 3 times a week. I don't know if its the meds that hes taking or what but he just is uncontrollable when he goes through these.